ugh, im feeling so so sick and vomitty and what not right now. and just to add up to this misery, i just got to know vinny, one of my favourite (well they are ALL my favourites) jersey shore cast have conformed to the pressure of the social networking and have decided to move to TUMBLR. oh come on dude, stick to ur blogspot i used to appreciate how you were different from others.

the amount of food i ate today is overwhelming. i had mee goreng, spaghetti bolognese, cupcakes, ayam rendang, cocktail, minced meat curry, chicken feet noodle, mum's to-die-for banana fritters with spicy soy sauce and twister fries...that explains my bloated stomach, and this awkward feeling of a layer of oil lubricating the insides of my throat..n just and UGHHH feeling i wanna die :(

me : aiman, tell me what u know about me. what do i do when im bored at home?
him: you read your textbook, you sleep, watch bollywood movies, you eat, you use the computer
me : what! i do handicraft! art n craft!
him : hhahaha nooo you only do handicraft for ME...

the moment he said those things, i felt so lousy about myself. i dont even have a hobby? or an interest that can keep myself busy when i have free time. but then again, whats free time when ure busy? i wish he'd known how im crazily addicted to lists. i write lists all the time. delve into my drawers and flip through my notebooks or loose papers, all you see are lists after lists - what to do by monday, what to do before i turn 20, what to do before i bathe, what to buy when i get my first $100, what to name my stuffs, what to plan to write in the next list - hahaha i am so retarded in so many ways.

him : now tell me what do i do when im bored at home?
me : SLEEP, play your computer games, entertain your nephew, you cook something up, watch tv
him : sleep
me : tt was the first thing i said. i dont want to go on already, you suck! you dont even listen to what i say! why dont you always pay attention to me!
him : YA ALLAH i knowwww...just wanted to make sure its a double u know how much i sleep

see how we always fight over the littlest things? he was in a better mood so the convo wasnt so bad. a typical convo would be:

me : tt was the first thing i said. i dont want to go on already, you suck! you dont even listen to what i say! why dont you always pay attention to me!
him : what is your problem?! why must u say such things?! can you at least allow me to finish what ive got to say?! ure too much man, get so worked up over everything! nonsense!
me : why are you raising your voice? fine, im sorry! but it pisses me off all the time! its so hard fr me to get your attention!! sometimes, i feel like ive got to throw a party everytime i realise u are actually listening to me!
him : why do you always have to say such things? to make me mad?! must i tell you every single thing about you that i hear?! the things about u that are actually in my head?! ure full of nonsense seriously. u just enjoy picking up a fight over the smallest things
me : ___

you get the whole point. my aiman is such a sleepyhead he sleeps almost all the time whenever he has the chance to, it worries me when we actually get married and stuff you know

like i have my back facing him as i make some slutty move as part of my lap dance and i turn around he has his head thrown back on the chair with his eyes shut n mouth open..exactly like the scene in white chicks, the one the wife was like "MARCUS!!!"

i cant stop talking and i dont have anyone to talk to hahah so im blabbing here without using my brain..

whatever, its just one of those nights i have loads of shit in my head.
i'm tired already. heading to the beach tmr im REALLY excited but ive got assignments to worry about,

and i hate how great your life is judged online based on your writing skills and how "cool" ur photos look